A Heartbreaking Bit of Breaking News Regarding the Snuggie Conspiracy

The Snuggies I discussed earlier have further integrated themselves into society. No longer are they just for adults, adults with breast cancer, or kids who don't know better than to dawn a backwards bathrobe and delve into the cult that comes with the Snuggie just like the pair of slipper socks or booklight embedded in the packaging.

Now, to really look foxy when consuming arsenic laced beverages, you can wear a designer Snuggie. All it took was a quick glance up at the television screen to see a woman casually reading (probably literature about the origins and plans for the future) while wearing a leopard print Snuggie.

You fucking heard me.

Leopard print. Soon to follow: zebra print, stripes, polka-dot, Sean John, Phat Farm, Abercrombie, plaid, Calvin Klein. I envision a future for civilization in which the same cliques we're all familiar with from high school still exist, only now they're wearing the same clothing they always wore as a backward bathrobe. This should solve the problem with walking into an Abercrombie store, only to be bluntly smacked in the face by a fourteen by fourteen foot canvas of some guy's chest and abs. Now it'll be a skin tight Snuggie that says Abercrombie, sewn on in a pre-frayed thread.

Don't forget to purchase your dog a Snuggie, as well. Buddy needs to interact with the dog down the street while doing something other than pissing on a fire hydrant, and the Snuggie will allow him to do so.

https://www.snuggiefordogs.net/

Just imagine what YOUR dog could do between meetings where the takeover is discussed. Disarm a nuclear bomb? If you buy him the blue one!