What's next? Mummies?

Granted, these usually come with a hint of bitterness, but consider this time, that this comes partially with the sour taste following last night's Celtics-Lakers game. Anytime the Lakers lose, I'm going to be frustrated, but when it comes in a game with fifty eight foul calls that make the game even longer and more drawn out, the frustration lingers. I saw nearly as many commercials as I did jump shots.

And it was during those commercials that the throbbing in my head became too much. ABC showed a couple promos for new shows this summer or fall--I don't really remember because I don't care, and because I plan to eat my own brain before it airs. And if this stupid shit can keep gaining the approval of network heads and actually making it on the air, I can in fact, eat my own brain.

The promo in question is for some show called The Gates. It's about a family of what appears to be vampires and werewolves. That's right, vampires. And werewolves. This comes following a slew of shitty vampire and werewolf movies that have made next to no money in the box office the last year or so. Oh yeah, and Twilight.

Seriously, fuck Twilight.

I'll put this into terms used in common parlance now to really put into perspective like a hipster or some other popular form of social scumbag would: vampires are the new zombies.

I spent a few years in high school watching zombies go from something only the weird kids who didn't have many friends whose most common interaction with other people didn't involve Pokemon cards to something every asshole claimed they'd loved their whole lives. It was zombie this, zombie that. You at one point, could turn your friends into zombies on Facebook. I never understood the fascination, but in a matter of four horrendous books written by some crazy moron from Utah, no one gives a fuck about zombies anymore.

What's next? Mummies?

If your intelligence hasn't already been insulted by the now common knowledge that Stephanie Meyer's vampires "glitter in the sunlight", and own islands off the coast of Rio fucking De Janiero, it should be in tears now that these creatures have pervaded popular culture to the degree in which they have.

I suppose this should be directed at how easily distracted by shiny objects society is, and how we've always been that way, but if it's society's job to abandon all reason and fall in love with stupid shit, then it's mine to bitch about it.

Go Lakers.